Geez, Louise!
I want you to know that I raised my little boy to be real good. You know, always follow the rules, and say “Yes, ma’am” and “Yes, sir,” and to help old folk cross the street. He was in the Scouts, and then went to college where he studied real hard.
Then he got a good job as a director at the funeral home. And I told him, “Son,” I said, “Son, you got to marry good and raise some nice kids.”
So he did. He married a nice girl, what come from a real good family, and she went to college too, which I thought wasn’t all that necessary, but she done it and then when they settled down, she got a job with some big accounting firm.
And then they had kids—bam! bam! bam! Three of ’em. One after another. I mean I think they was born nine months and ten minutes apart. But real nice kids, you know? Always laughing and having fun.
Anyway, last month, my son had me move into a mother-in-law apartment above their garage. I thought I had died and gone to heaven! I look out my window into their back yard and they got a swimming pool there and all kinds of things.
But, you know, here’s the problem. Every time I look out my window at the pool, they’s down there sunbathing. Nekkid! The whole lot of them! They no more dressed than the fresh catch over at Matassa’s fish counter!
Louise, what am I suppose to do? I can’t hardly peek out the window without seeing stuff dangle and bounce all over the place. And it’s getting sunburned! Maybe if I buy them nice swim suits for their birthdays, they’ll get the hint? I mean, I really need help here.
Flustered Mom
Dear Festered,
I hear you! I hate it when somebody gives me a free apartment and then they want to carry on with their normal life.
Here’s what you do. First step is to run over to the fabric store and pick yourself out a few yards of a nice gingham print. I’m sure somebody at the shop can show you a pattern for drapes. Second step: hang them over your window. Finally, close the drapes.
Problem solved!
You’re welcome.
Louise
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Photo Wikimedia Commons.
